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Friday, 19 July 2013

The dog that may never leave the room

Some weeks ago, I started working on a dog. My cousin got married and they have the cutest dog. So my idea was, as a present, I'd make them another dog that resembles their actual dog. So I bought the book, I bought the supplies and started working. It took me several tries as I didn't like the way the dog turned out and I tried combining different patterns, but did not consider that they might not be the same size. So when I finally made the third head and I was happy about it, I also made a body.

But that turned out to be a problem. I did finish all the other body parts, but never assembled the animal. But friends knew I was making the dog, so they asked how it turned out. There is a reason that I did not assemble the animal. A very good reason, at least in my mind. And the reason is simple. I can never give the dog to his rightfully owners. I will show you why.

Please, as a precaution, please, please, please, get all your kiddies out of the room.

Get all other people out of the room as well.

Make sure nobody else can see the following picture as they may misunderstand what you are looking at.

Keep in mind this is the body of a dog. No other extremities are showed on the pictures.

And just to be clear, I won't be taking orders for just the body.

It may just be my dirty little mind, but to me this body looks a bit... penile.

The picture may not fully appreciate it, but trust me, it was in my hands... I showed it to others and they agreed (however, I do like to think my friends have just as much a dirty little mind as I do, so it may not be a real representation of the general opinion).

Yes, I understand that if the animal is assembled nobody may notice the penile body. But how can I give this as a present to newly-weds? In front of my grandparents. And all my other family members... And the religious family members of the bride...

I am quite certain the mother of the groom would laugh her ass off if she found out (and she probably will now). But I cannot give that as a present and keep my face straight while doing it. I could sent it by mail. Or make someone else give it. But I'm afraid for now it will be buried somewhere deep in a box, because even when it is assembled, I still just see a penile dog. I think I will stay away from crocheting dogs for now...

I did however get a great idea on how to hide a vibrator...

Dog pattern by Patricia Vargas

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